Anything * Virtuous

The next revolution in beauty

2012-01-12T16:17:00.000-08:00

Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

"This commercial isn’t real, and neither are society’s standards of beauty." -- Jesse Rosten

My favorite line is "results so dramatic they're almost unreal(istic)." And it's true. How sad is it, that you can't believe anything you see anymore. Thanks to Jesse Rosten and his crew for sharing this message.

Mixed Messages

2011-11-16T12:13:00.001-08:00

"She's one of my best friends.
She believes in me.
She has awesome style.
She inspires me.
Together we can dream big.
We can go to the moon, dance with the royal ballet,
nurse a puppy back to health, open a bakery, teach the next generation.
She shows me that I can be anything. And that's everything."

This beautiful message almost brought tears to my eyes.

And then I realized it was a commercial for Barbie. Go ahead, watch it.

I have mixed feelings about this ad. On the one hand, I feel like girls should be saying that about their own mothers, friends, or heroes. Barbie shouldn't be replacing actual people as inspiration. Girls should seek encouragement from within their home and family, right? But on the other hand, what if they don't have a good role model in their home or life? Do we leave it up to Barbie to fill in the gap? A plastic doll? Hold that thought.

Apparently Barbie has 125 careers and counting. Have you heard about her latest adventure?

Meet tokidoki Barbie, complete with pink hair, an off-the-shoulder top, super-mini skirt, too-tall stilettos, a cactus dog named "Bastardino," and an anorexic figure slathered in tattoos -- some of which you can only see if she's undressed. What kind of message is Barbie sending now?

Apparently she's being marketed as a "collector's doll" and won't be found in toy stores. But no matter what Mattel may claim, a Barbie is a Barbie -- little girls can't tell the difference between a "girls'" Barbie and "collector's" Barbie. Since she is so "inspiring" and has "awesome style," I fear some girls will see this Barbie as acceptable, or worse, someone she wants to be.

I'm not saying you shouldn't buy Barbies. Let's just make sure our girls are getting the right messages from the right sources. A doll shouldn't be the positive role model in a girl's life. You can be her best friend that believes in her, the one that inspires her to dream big. You can be the one that shows her that she can be anything. And that's everything.

An Easter Declaration

2011-04-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

As much as I enjoyed egg hunts and baskets of goodies with my 15 month old son this Easter, nothing truly compares to the true joy I feel for my Savior Jesus Christ and the real meaning of this holiday.

I add my testimony that I know He lives. The words of a hymn written by Samuel Medley embody my beliefs perfectly.

1. I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives, my ever-living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.

2. He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.

3. He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare.
He lives to bring me safely there.

4. He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
“I know that my Redeemer lives!”
He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

“I know that my Redeemer lives!”

Text: Samuel Medley, 1738–1799. Included in the first LDS hymnbook, 1835.
Music: Lewis D. Edwards, 1858–1921
Job 19:25
Psalm 104:33–34
- LDS.org

Parents, don't dress your girls like tramps

2011-04-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

This is too good to pass up or paraphrase.

Parents, don't dress your girls like tramps

By LZ Granderson, CNN Contributor

April 19, 2011 8:52 a.m. EDT

Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- I saw someone at the airport the other day who really caught my eye.

Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie "10" (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her "Xtina" phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.

You can tell she had been vacationing somewhere warm, because you could see her deep tan around her midriff thanks to the halter top and the tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist. The icing on the cake? The word "Juicy" was written on her backside.

Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see alright. ... I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she's not even in middle school yet.

Abercrombie & Fitch came under fire this spring for introducing the "Ashley," a push-up bra for girls who normally are too young to have anything to push up. Originally it was marketed for girls as young as 7, but after public outcry, it raised its intended audience to the wise old age of 12. I wonder how do people initiate a conversation in the office about the undeveloped chest of elementary school girls without someone nearby thinking they're pedophiles?

Push-up bikini controversy

What kind of PowerPoint presentation was shown to the Abercrombie executives that persuaded them to green light such a product?

That there was a demand to make little girls hot?

I mean, that is the purpose of a push-up bra, right? To enhance sex appeal by lifting up, pushing together and basically showcasing the wearer's breasts. Now, thanks to AF Kids, girls don't have to wait until high school to feel self-conscious about their, uhm, girls. They can start almost as soon as they're potty trained. Maybe this fall the retailer should consider keeping a plastic surgeon on site for free consultations.

We've been here with Abercrombie before -- if you recall, about 10 years ago they sold thongs for 10-year-olds -- but they're hardly alone in pitching inappropriate clothing to young girls. Four years ago the popular "Bratz" franchise introduced padded bras called "bralettes" for girls as young as six. That was also around the time the good folks at Wal-Mart rolled out a pair of pink panties in its junior department with the phrase "Who Needs Credit Cards" printed on the front.

I guess I've been out-of-the-loop and didn't realize there's been an ongoing stampede of 10-year-old girls driving to the mall with their tiny fists full of cash demanding sexier apparel.

What's that you say? Ten-year-olds can't drive? They don't have money, either? Well, how else are they getting ahold of these push-up bras and whore-friendly panties?

Their parents?

Noooo, couldn't be.

What adult who wants a daughter to grow up with high self-esteem would even consider purchasing such items? What parent is looking at their sweet, little girl thinking, "She would be perfect if she just had a little bit more up top."

And then I remember the little girl at the airport. And the girls we've all seen at the mall. And the kiddie beauty pageants.

And then I realize as creepy as it is to think a store like Abercrombie is offering something like the "Ashley", the fact remains that sex only sells because people are buying it. No successful retailer would consider introducing an item like a padded bikini top for kindergarteners if they didn't think people would buy it.

If they didn't think parents would buy it, which begs the question: What in the hell is wrong with us?

It's easy to blast companies for introducing the sexy wear, but our ire really should be directed at the parents who think low rise jeans for a second grader is cute. They are the ones who are spending the money to fuel this budding trend. They are the ones who are suppose to decide what's appropriate for their young children to wear, not executives looking to brew up controversy or turn a profit.

I get it, Rihanna's really popular. But that's a pretty weak reason for someone to dress their little girl like her.

I don't care how popular Lil' Wayne is, my son knows I would break both of his legs long before I would allow him to walk out of the house with his pants falling off his butt. Such a stance doesn't always makes me popular -- and the house does get tense from time to time -- but I'm his father, not his friend.

Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, "No, and that's the end of it."

The way I see it, my son can go to therapy later if my strict rules have scarred him. But I have peace knowing he'll be able to afford therapy as an adult because I didn't allow him to wear or do whatever he wanted as a kid.

Maybe I'm a Tiger Dad.

Maybe I should mind my own business.

Or maybe I'm just a concerned parent worried about little girls like the one I saw at the airport.

In 2007, the American Psychological Association's Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls issued a report linking early sexualization with three of the most common mental-health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression. There's nothing inherently wrong with parents wanting to appease their daughters by buying them the latest fashions. But is getting cool points today worth the harm dressing little girls like prostitutes could cause tomorrow?

A line needs to be drawn, but not by Abercrombie. Not by Britney Spears. And not by these little girls who don't know better and desperately need their parents to be parents and not 40-year-old BFFs.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson.

Amen.

Miss Representation

2011-04-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dearest Daughters,

I really really want to see this.

Miss Representation was a selection at this year's Sundance Film Festival. From the organization's website: "Miss Representation explores women’s under-representation in positions of power and influence and challenges the limited and often disparaging portrayal of women in the media."

Take a minute and check out MissRepresentation.org, especially read up on how you can help change this trend.

Be Inspired.

2011-04-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Need some inspiration?
Paralyzed Utah County woman to race in Boston Marathon - ksl.com

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Katie is my cousin. I feel fortunate to call her my friend, and even more so family. I look at the feats she has accomplished and feel empowered to chase my own aspirations and overcome my obstacles.

If you'd like to be further inspired, Katie's story was entered into a "mormon messages" video contest. Her video is now one of ten finalists! Check out her video and if you like it, vote for it! Under the "Professional Videos" category, her video is called "The Trial of Adversity."

Who We Become

2011-02-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

Dearest Daughters,
My cousin said it best: Do not let an issue/trial be the determining factor on what or who we become in life. -- Katie

I know I've spotlighted Katie on here before. I'll keep doing so, too, because she inspires me!

Look Not Behind Thee

2011-01-09T22:07:00.000-08:00

I've heard differing opinions about 2010. Some had a great year. Others said, "Good riddance!" and were glad it was over. Either way, I think this is a great way to look at it.

Hope this year is even better than the last, and things just keep looking up. :)

I'd take the seasick crocodile

2010-11-29T17:30:00.000-08:00

I've seen some bloggers show only the positive things going on around them and portray a perfect facade of their world. This is not that kind of post. I offer a glimpse into my daily life, my reality, uncensored. However, there is a purpose and lesson ...

Cyber Monday. The morning started off great. My teething 11-month old (today!) chilled with Baby Einstein so I could score some great deals. Ten percent off plus free shipping at Old Navy, free shipping at Oriental Trading, and 40 percent off plus free shipping at Ann Taylor Loft! It was the easiest shopping trip ever. And my son entertained himself almost the entire time!

But my joy from online shopping didn't last. Poor kiddo had a hard night and rough first nap, sleeping in spurts when his teeth weren't bugging him and crying out when they were. After we ate lunch I loaded us in the car to run a few errands. My son's mood continually soured as I dashed through the aisles at Target. The checkout lines weren't long so I picked one and hoped we'd make it to the car before the munchkin had a meltdown. Hah.

I completely forgot that stores hire more employees during the holidays. And most of these newbies don't have much training, aren't familiar with the checkout equipment or merchandise, and are astonishingly slow. I got this sort of newbie. I can't explain in words how painful it was waiting for this Target Team Member. I even looked around to see if any other employees or managers had noticed. I forced myself to take deep breaths to maintain my patience while he moved at a glacial pace and my toddler proceeded to melt down. Finally I had finished paying (somehow he gave me $5 back when I paid with a credit card?) and I rushed out to the car. Then I realized that, because this checker had taken so ridiculously long, I forgot to get a gift card for the Angel Tree -- the reason I came to Target in the first place.

So I turned back around, did more breathing exercises as I impatiently tailgate-walked behind some slow shoppers entering the store, veered the stroller to a different checkout line, and got my gift card. Though this checker was also new, he was not nearly as slow (thank Heaven). My son continued to throw a fit as I loaded him in the car, then I busted a nail when collapsing the stroller, and I finally exploded once I had my seatbelt on. My stress and frustration from this shopping trip with my cranky teething toddler, coupled with the stress from having company (some of them ill) stay for a week while hosting my first Thanksgiving, finally consumed me. (PS -- I love you, company, but please try to understand your germaphobic, super-planner relative. Plus, holidays are just stressful in themselves.)

My son thankfully tuned out my explosion and fell asleep after some of his own final shouts of rebellion. I called my husband to vent and he made me feel a bit better. But I continued to simmer while reflecting on the migraine of a shopping trip I just had, the hassle that comes with holidays, the doofus people out there working the registers or slow-shopping, all the while wishing this could've been an online shopping experience. Then, as if I had requested it, the radio station played a song just for me: "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch ..." I couldn't help but smile at all the colorful insults on the Grinch's character and soul.

You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel ... Your heart's an empty hole ... You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mister Grinch, Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the ... seasick crocodile!

And that's when I realized that these lines described my current attitude. I was being a total Grinch, to put it lightly. I focused on what was going wrong and bottled up my frustration and impatience until I couldn't hold it any longer. After the song I finally relaxed and tried to identify things going 'right', like how my son wasn't crying anymore cuz he was passed out in his carseat. How I discovered a great second-hand store for kids while shopping. How my husband offered to take care of an errand I didn't have time to finish. Little things, yes, but they still count.

As corny as it sounds, I totally did not have the Christmas spirit. And not the Santa and presents-spirit, but the spirit that remembers my Savior, His humble arrival on Earth, and the joy He brought to all who sought Him throughout His life and even afterward, especially throughout my own life. I need to focus on the things that matter most, like my relationship with God and with my fabulous family. I am going to ~~try to~~ be less of a Grinch. I will ~~try to~~ relax and slow down. I will ~~make an effort to~~ enjoy the things going 'right' and the blessings I have (in abundance). After all, I want to get picked over a seasick crocodile.

Marriage obsolete? NBC Nightly's Top Story ...

2010-11-18T19:13:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't catch the news tonight, Brian Williams opened the NBC Nightly News broadcast with a disturbing statistic: Four in 10 people say marriage is becoming obsolete. If you don't have time to watch the story below, here are some highlights:
-- In 1978, just 28 percent believed marriage was becoming obsolete. Now that numer is nearly 40 percent.
-- One in three children lives with a parent who is separated, divorced, or never married.
-- Three-quarters of those surveyed say their family is the most important element in their lives.
-- When asked, "What is a family?" 86 percent said a single parent and child, 80 percent said an unmarried couple and child, and 63 percent said a gay or lesbian couple and child, whether allowed to marry or not.
-- In 1960 just 5 percent of babies were born to unmarried women. In 2008 ... 41 percent.
-- 44 percent of adults said they've lived together without being married, although some believe it's better to tie the knot.
Source: Pew Research Center

You heard the man. Yikes. It seems the definition and idea of marriage is being rewritten and erased at the same time.

My idea of marriage is definitely traditional (or what used to be). I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that children should be born to married parents. I also believe in chastity and abstinence before marriage, and fidelity throughout a marriage. I know I can't change how others feel about marriage, but within the walls of my own home I can teach my children to value commitment, and not to give in to the idea of 'glorifying the individual' or settling for social trends. I do not believe marriage should be a dying institution.

Oh, Mother.

2010-11-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't read my resume, I have a BA in Broadcast Journalism. My idea in college was to become an entertainment reporter. Then I landed a job as an Assignment Desk editor and thought I'd work while studying meteorology - here comes the next weather girl! But other opportunities took me down different roads - got married, got out of news since the pay/schedule stunk, moved to Vegas, got back in to news (the desk, again), left it for a law firm, quit that for substitute teaching, and now I'm a mom. This is my favorite job yet, and at the same time, the hardest ever.

I wonder sometimes how different my life would be had I sent my resume tape to the small market stations, lived in nowhereville for a few years, and moved up the ladder to a Top 30 market, eventually replacing Kelly Ripa. Seriously, this was my dream. But had I not taken the first job on the Assignment Desk, I would've never met my husband and therefore never had my beautiful son. I'm sure I would've been happy in different ways, but I wouldn't trade where I'm at now for anything.

Not every day is all sunshine, and I still feel a twinge of self consciousness when asked what I do for a living. I hate saying "Stay At Home Mom" because of all of the negative connotations that go with it. We're an acronym for pete's sake - SAHM?! The subtext that goes along with that title is usually "wah wah wah ..."! Instead, I like to call myself a "Professional Mother" since I have a degree and professional experience. For some reason the world doesn't give moms justice for the work they accomplish at home, every day and night, working on-call and overtime. Why do daycare workers and nannys get more respect? Because they have a paycheck?

Now that I'm a mom my respect for fellow mothers has multiplied exponentially. I am amazed at how my friends juggle home life with kids, plus some of them are in school or work away from home. If you've been feeling a little blah about being a "just a mom," I highly recommend getting a copy of Dr. Laura's "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms." Her thoughts are very uplifting and encouraging, not to mention humerous. She is a mother, too, who also had a professional career. In fact, she doesn't say NOT to work or have your outlets, but to plan those around your family. Being a mother is a noble title and calling.

This was originally my comment on another's blog, but then I thought I'd share it with you, too.

Vote. Seriously.

2010-10-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

Doesn't this look like fun?!

No matter where you live in America, or who is on your ballot, you ought to exercise your right and privilege to vote. Not every country governs as a democracy ... you should think about that.

Early voting is going on now and Election Day is just a week away! Go do your homework on your candidates and make a decision already! Your local newspaper website should have a Voter Guide to educate you on the backgrounds, platforms, and positions of each candidate. Sadly, I'm sure some people spend more time picking their fantasy drafts! So you really don't have a good excuse not to vote. Plus, you'll probably get a nifty sticker that says, "I voted today!" and others will follow your good example.

Just for kicks, here are some lame excuses I've heard, and don't ever want to hear again.

"My vote won't make a difference." Actually, you NOT voting is you NOT making a difference.

"My candidate will win anyway." And when enough people think that, your candidate ends up losing.

Or the opposite, "My candidate won't win anyway." Sadly, they surely won't win if you don't even vote.

"If I don't vote, then whenever the elected person screws up, I can say 'I didn't vote for them!'" Wow.

My Two Cents, A Call for Civility

2010-10-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

From my experience in TV news, I've seen how a lengthy interview can turn into a few select sound bites. Sometimes those clips are taken out of context to aid the spin of the story. If you don't believe me, go watch the political ads with the "he said/she said" mudslinging on other candidates.

I've heard it said before that people will hear what they want to hear. Such has been the case with a speech given by a representative of my faith, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS, Mormons, it's all the same). After President Boyd K. Packer's talk, he and the Church received severe backlash from individuals and news media, particularly those in or supporting the LGBT community and lifestyle. Many blogs and comments from those opposing the talk focused on certain lines of the speech, at times taken out of context and completely missing the overall message.

Fifteen years ago the Church put out an official declaration regarding core beliefs of their religion: "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." Here are a few lines from the Proclamation.

"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. [...] We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

With regards to President Packer's statements, the position of the Church remains the same and has been so since it was founded in 1830. What he said did not change the position of the Church -- the belief that marriage is to be between a man and a woman and ordained of God, the belief that each person is loved by God and the Church, the belief that that gender is premortal and mortal, and the belief that procreation is to be between a married man and woman.

When you read or listen to or watch President Packer's talk, which I encourage you to do, I hope you will look for the entire message of his speech, not stop at certain lines. There's so much more I want to say. But I'll leave that to the Church, who today published their response to the negative attention surrounding President Packer's talk.

A call for civility following Mormon Apostle Boyd K. Packer’s address

Deseret News, Published: Sunday, Oct. 10, 2010 12:00 a.m. MDT

In recent weeks, media sources across the country have covered several suicides by young people wrestling with same-gender attraction. These heartbreaking accounts have brought national attention to the anguished lives of youths confused by strong feelings that can put them at odds with the expectations of friends, family, community or church. What has made these stories particularly horrifying is the brutal and belittling behavior that preceded each suicide.

To any affected by such tragedy, we express sorrow and we condemn the incivility that violated the dignity of these youths.

This week, activists for the lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender (LGBT) community have attempted to raise our community's consciousness about the challenges facing LGBT youths. This consciousness raising has been styled as a reaction to a talk by President Boyd Packer, president of the Quorum of the Twelve of The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints, given at the church's 180th Semiannual General Conference last Sunday.

This focused attention on the LDS Church is deeply ironic given the church's shared condemnation of hate and violence toward gays and lesbians, its mutual support of anti-discrimination laws for gays and lesbians and its compassionate ministry to LDS Church members who have same-gender attraction.

This past week, the LDS Church re-emphasized "that there is no room in this discussion for hatred or mistreatment of anyone." This is not new — it mirrors, for example, how the LDS Church helped to champion a Salt Lake City ordinance banning discrimination of gays and lesbians in housing and employment. And it is consistent with how the LDS Church has ministered to members with same-gender attraction.

In a 2007 article in the LDS Church's Ensign magazine, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland relates a conversation with a self-described gay member of the LDS Church: "You are first and foremost a son of God, and He loves you. What's more, I love you. My Brethren among the General Authorities love you.

Interestingly, given the events of this week, Elder Holland spoke about other church leaders: "I'm reminded of a comment President Boyd K. Packer made in speaking to those with same-gender attraction. 'We do not reject you,' he said. '… We cannot reject you, for you are the sons and daughters of God. We will not reject you, because we love you.' "

While opposing all sexual relations outside of traditional marriage, the LDS Church has consistently reached out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender.

Perhaps the focused attention has come because the LDS Church continues to assert principled opposition to same-sex marriage, a view shared by most Americans. Indeed, the majority of states have passed legislation clarifying that marriage is between a man and a woman. For activists in the LGBT community who reject what Latter-day Saints and members of other faith traditions believe to be the divine origins of marriage between man and woman, there may simply not be room for agreement on this important issue.

Because of our concern for civility and respect, we find common ground with those who, with dignity, wish to condemn hatred and violence against those who struggle with same-gender attraction.

Nonetheless, tactics used this week ostensibly to accomplish these purposes were counterproductive. Instead of seeking genuine common ground around issues of mutual concern, activists began this week with a grossly misguided caricature of the LDS Church's support of traditional morality.

The tactic is now all-too familiar: take a statement out of context, embellish it with selective interpretation, presume hostile intent, and then use the distortion to isolate an entire group, in this case a church.

We encourage all to read President Packer's talk rather than simply rely on the media interpretations and selective quotations. It stretches all credulity to find in President Packer's pastoral counsel what some are calling a hateful message "that can lead some kids to bully and others to commit suicide." Contrary to what some have written in provocative press releases, nothing in President Packer's talk says that "violence and/or discrimination against LGBT people is acceptable."

This distortion is not only misguided and political, it is dangerous. It frays trust that helps people of goodwill from different perspectives to constructively address the serious problems under consideration. By holding up a caricatured account of people's spiritual leaders, those in greatest need of pastoral care may be mistakenly alienated from the very people who can compassionately help them get access to professional resources and counseling.

The challenges facing the families and individuals affected by same-gender attraction are poignant and real. Religion provides a unique perspective on how these challenges can be addressed that has every right to be heard and evaluated on the merits. Indeed, religious organizations provide the vital infrastructure for the economy of care that undergirds our community. For the sake of our youths and the health of our communities, we call for thoughtful and civil dialogue on this and all difficult conversations. That dialogue should respect context, should not prejudge motive and must work to include instead of isolate.

© 2010 Deseret News Publishing Company | All rights reserved

Princes and Ever Afters

2010-09-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

Dearest Daughters,

Who doesn't love a good fairy tale? Especially when one comes true in your own life. I want you to live happily ever after with your Prince Charming more than anything in the world. But it's how you make it to that point that concerns me.

I couldn't wait to turn 16 (dating age) because I thought boys would be knocking down my front door to date me. And in college, I was certain that I would graduate from BYU happily married. I had even imagined how I would find my companion -- we would meet each other as EFY counselors, then date for a year and get married! None of these situations ever came to pass. And I'm so glad -- here's why:

My mother once introduced me to a story called Cinder Edna, by Ellen Jackson. Essentially, it's a parody on the tale of Cinderella, and while the same problems happen to Cinder Edna, she reacts differently than Cinderella did. Cinder Edna has better things to do than sit in the ashes and feel sorry for herself. She embraces the opportunities to cook and clean, works to save up money for a ball gown, rides a bus to the castle, and meets a prince who, while he may not by like his 'charming' brother, is Cinder Edna's perfect match of practicality and fun. The point is, Cinder Edna made something great out of herself by learning useful skills, getting an education, actually living and not moping around thinking, "Someday my prince will come ..."

Monsters Inc.

2010-09-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

From Children's Health Magazine : Toddlers : Monsters Inc.

Monsters Inc.

How to thwart the $17 billion marketing effort to steal your kids' dreams, infiltrate their friendships, plaster their PJs with logos, hijack their imaginations, fragment their attention spans, make them obese, and drive a wedge into their relationship with you.

By Paul Scott

I thought I could win the battle for my child's brain.

Until she was about 4 years old, Parker, a tall girl with sandy brown hair and enormous blue eyes, was largely shielded from brands and the plethora of screens used to spread their fairy dust. At home, she had no access to cable TV and viewed only parent-approved DVDs and sporadic bouts of PBS Kids. She didn't know how to use the remote control, had no access to video games, and knew only the kind of web made by spiders. Her favorite activities were painting, playing tag, picking tomatoes, and dancing when no one was looking. She remained clueless about the Kids' Choice Awards, Radio Disney, FrootLoops.com, and avatars. I realize that in the eyes of some parents, this makes me a little uptight.

In our daughter's presence, my wife and I would mute commercials, spell out the names of chain stores, and refer to Ronald McDonald as "the clown." But we cannot keep our little girl in a marketing-free bubble. Thanks to an aunt, Hello Kitty has become her starter Abercrombie & Fitch. Thanks to her grandparents-- OK, and a few times her dad--she has half a dozen of the 40,000 items adorned with the Disney princesses. And we have watched as the alien baby of tween marketing has grown in her child-sized belly. Before she had either seen or heard the Jonas Brothers, for instance, she spontaneously declared the group to be a good band. We once found a pair of 3-D glasses in her cubby at preschool, kid swag promoting the Hannah Montana section at Wal-Mart. Did I tell you she has grown-up consumer preferences (she wants a convertible like Barbie's) and appearance issues (she wants blond hair)? Did I mention she had them when she was 4?

Well, I'm not uptight, OK, and I don't live off the grid or in a yurt. I'm just a dad who thinks that the business of selling things to kids is out of control. Researchers have linked this marketing phenomenon with a host of negative consequences. Childhood obesity and the sexualization of girls garner the headlines, but these issues are simply symptoms of a larger illness: conflicts with parents, psychological distress, indifference toward others, and a disregard for the world itself. Exposing a child to high levels of marketing, in other words, is a great way to make a child unhappy, unsuccessful, and unlikable.

Most of us think of marketing as ads, but with shows having become toys having become brands, I look at the most innocent stuffed bear with suspicion. "Even Sesame Street has an army of Elmo dolls out there now," says Michael Rich, M. D., director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Children's Hospital in Boston. "For a child, these products are a connection to Sesame Street. The relationship they have developed with the program is leveraged to make them desire that brand. They're just learning to be consumers, [which carries] a mentality that says, 'If only I can have that, I will be happy.'"

Advertising has always been with us, but there's no comparing your memories of 30-second ads with the 24/7, 360-degree, multimedia Manhattan Project now under way to own your children's brains. In the past 25 years, marketing to children has grown from $100 million worth of holiday-time ads to a $17 billion effort to seed brands and licensed characters into every corner of children's lives. With the convergence of technology that connects televisions, cellphones, and the web, kid-brand gurus have developed an unprecedented array of Trojan-horse methods to enter your kid's head and capture his mind. What's at stake is more than a few dollars; it's the internal emotional adventure of childhood itself.

Into Elmo's Den

It's early on the second day of the ninth annual Kid- Screen Summit, a high-powered conference that drew to New York City more than 1,300 animators, video and website designers, cable honchos, licensing experts, and assorted Net 2.0 types pulling the strings of the global business of marketing to kids. Technically, this is a conference about entertaining kids, and to be fair, there are a great number of attendees here who have an overriding interest in making kids smile. But with children, the wall between entertaining and marketing has crumbled. How else to explain the session today titled "Beyond the Click-Through," in which a panel of the smartest minds in children's website development trade notes on how to make kid-oriented websites even stickier. The FCC regulates children's television advertising, but few restrictions apply on the web. The presenters talked about customizing characters, the difference between successful children's TV shows and websites, and the optimum frequency of refreshed content. "You want to give kids the opportunity to play with your brand," said Zack Zeiler, one of the panelists and the president and CEO of Visual Perspectives Internet Inc., a company that creates games for adults' and children's websites that are usually tied to products.

While parents may fret about 30-second commercial breaks during cartoons, the marketers have basically left TV ads in the rearview mirror and moved on to dunking kids in 25-minute-long bouts of online "brand immersion." The goal: Turn your kid into their very own salesman. "At the Geppetto Group," reads the influential marketing firm's promotional copy, "we view integrated marketing as an opportunity to invite consumers to actively participate in the brand." The company promises to guide children down a yellow brick road "from brand awareness to investigation, from investigation to selection, to repeat purchase, to loyalty, and ultimately, to advocacy."

Of the 96 food, beverage, and candy companies that advertise most heavily on children's television, 85 percent of them had websites loaded with games designed to extend the duration of a child's brand exposure and increase the personal bonding, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation's 2006 report "It's Child's Play: Advergaming and the Online Marketing of Food to Children." The sites offered kids the ability to watch actual commercials (53 percent of the time), to customize their stay at the website in some way (73 percent of the time), to be marketed an unrelated movie or TV show (47 percent of the time), and even to become viral carriers of the brand via the sending of brand-touting e-mail greetings to friends (64 percent of the time). During the three-month period under study, there were 12.2 million visits by children ages 2 to 11.

And keeping kids away from the marketing machine is going to become harder. Game systems eat up even more hours than web gaming, which is why advertisers spent $80 million on ads nested within video games in 2007, and in the next three years are expected to spend more than 10 times that amount having snacks, drinks, and shoes written into software. Avatar websites such as Neopets, BarbieGirls, and Be-Bratz are expected to sell $150 million worth of ads each year by 2012, and have already become places to train kids how to shop. The latest trend in screen-based marketing is to complement a web-centered kid world with that of the screens that never leave children's sides: those on cellphones. Disney recently established a web-based destination for kids known as Pixie Hollow, a virtual friendship where subscribing girls can adopt fairy avatars and then use their cellphones to digitally feed Pixie Hollow butterflies. With even the Sesame Workshop studying the possible benefits of Elmo texting your kids, it would be no surprise to see youngsters checking their cellphones long before they reach kindergarten.

The High Cost Of Marketing

Selling to kids has been recognized as treachery since the 1970s, simply because using moving images and blinking lights to get grade-schoolers thinking about toys, food, and TV shows is like hunting cattle with rocket launchers. It's why you can't advertise to kids in Norway and Sweden, and why Canada, Greece, and other European countries have severe restrictions. Kids today may seem more media savvy than in the past, but their familiarity with brands only masks the immaturity of their young brains. "Developmentally, children under the age of 7 or 8 are incapable of discerning persuasive intent," Rich says. "As a result, the American Psychological Association has stated it is unethical to advertise to children younger than 8."

Researchers have learned that marketing is bad for kids on nearly every measure of well-being. Children's TV ads, websites, and video games are dominated by pitches for candy, soda, and fast food to the tune of $10 billion to $15 billion annually, and research shows that these ads work: Kids as young as 2 ask for foods they've seen advertised on TV. Even after adjusting for age, BMI, total energy intake, TV viewing, and physical activity, for every hour of TV or video viewing, adolescents' odds of eating foods commonly advertised on television increased, according to a 2006 study from the Harvard School of Public Health. "Statistically, there is strong evidence that exposure to television advertising is associated with [obesity] in children ages 2 to 11 and teens ages 12 to 18," concluded a recent National Academy of Sciences report titled "Food Marketing to Children and Youth: Threat or Opportunity?"

Marketing especially hurts girls. The American Psychological Association recently convened a task force that found that the proliferation of sexualized images of girls in advertising, merchandising, and the media is causing real problems. "We have ample evidence to conclude that sexualization has negative effects on cognitive function, physical and mental health, and healthy sexual development," says Eileen L. Zurbriggen, Ph. D., a coauthor of the task force's report and a professor of psychology at the University of California at Santa Cruz.

The consequences for all children go beyond obesity and body-image issues. Start with licensing. Marketers have successfully trained kids to play with brands, not toys--and researchers are just beginning to understand why this is scary. Children need generic, unbranded toys in order to best express themselves, explains Susan Linn, Ed. D., head of the influential Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood and author of The Case for Make Believe: Saving Play in a Commercialized World. A psychologist who once worked for Fred Rogers and is a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School, Linn laments the fact that it's hard to find any products for kids--from food to toys-- that aren't adorned by brand logos. "An engaging, unbranded puppet will encourage self-expression," Linn says, "while a Cookie Monster puppet is always Cookie Monster and does little more than eat cookies." But the issue is bigger than creativity. "What's at risk," Linn says, "is the development of essential life skills, the ability for children to look to themselves for generating amusement and to soothe themselves when they feel stressed."

Children would be less vulnerable to licensing were it not for the all-consuming role of screen media in their lives. Today's kids, from the ages of 8 to 18, spend 44.5 hours a week--the equivalent of a full-time job, with a few extra hours thrown in for overtime--using the media, according to a 2005 Kaiser study. Before they are 2 years old, 38 percent of kids can turn on the TV and 40 percent can change channels; by the time they are 4 years old, 69 percent of kids can put in a DVD and 71 percent can operate the remote control; by age 6, a third have TVs in their bedrooms and by adolescence that figure doubles.

"To me, consumerism is the more insidious problem," says Tim Kasser, Ph. D., an associate professor of psychology at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, and author of The High Price of Materialism. "It's less obviously seen. It's the water in which we swim." Studies show an association between materialism in children and impairment on a host of markers of physical, social, and psychological wellbeing. "Children who are high on scales of materialism report being less happy, less satisfied with life, more depressed, and more anxious. They have lower self-esteem," he says. "One report even shows more somatic problems such as headaches and stomachaches."

Recently, economist Juliet B. Schor, Ph. D., published groundbreaking research on consumerism, media use, and well-being among 300 fifth-and sixth-graders in the Boston area, one of the first studies of consumerism in children this age. The data connected the dots between television watching and increased consumerism in kids. Schor, author of Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture, found that both screen time and high consumer involvement were significant causes of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, psychosomatic complaints, and increased conflicts with parents. The study specifically found that consumerism and screen time led to mental-health problems, rather than the other way around. It wasn't clear how this entire stew of misery came about--whether consumerism made kids envious of others, or cut into time for exercise, or dampened their fantasy lives--but the end result was undeniable: Too much media and consumer involvement in a child worsens nearly every measure of wellness and family harmony.

Clearly, today's children are under siege. So with the help of the researchers, physicians, and educators, we've created some rules for anti–child marketing jujitsu, guidelines parents can use to delay the moment when their child's imagination quits thinking about a pony and replaces it with My Little Pony (see "The Princess Diatribes," at right).

It's a constant battle. While visiting friends recently, a mother started in on my little girl because she didn't know about Hannah Montana. Buying groceries, we push our cart past Dora dolls next to the jelly, Barbies near the chips, and a TV airing a loop of the High School Musical kids singing and selling Sara Lee bread. A trip to Toys "R" Us is like peeling back my daughter's scalp, and ladling a hot porridge of branding into her skull.

I don't want Parker to grow up without any cultural references, so I've been picking my battles. We avoid the mac 'n' cheese boxes imprinted with Scooby Doo, but we have cans of SpaghettiOs featuring Disney princesses. I let her watch whatever she wants at Grandpa's house. He recently thought it would be funny to tell her to tell me she likes Hannah Montana, but she told him she didn't. Maybe we're gaining ground. Then again, maybe not.

Taking Kasser's advice, when Parker one day pressed us for a Dora hat and sunglasses, even though she has plenty of hats and sunglasses, we tried the straight talk.

"You're going to grow out of Dora," my wife said. "You know what Dora is?" I added. "She's marketing."

My daughter listened, thought about what we had said, and smiled. "Well, then, I want a Dora hat and sunglasses so I can grow out of them!"

Motherhood

2010-07-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

I've only been a mother for six months, but this clip really moved me. Mothers old and young really ought to watch this. Good luck getting through this without tissues : )

Choose friends wisely

2010-06-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

Dearest Daughters,
You tend to do the same things your friends do. You have similar interests, share the same classes, and spend a lot of time together. But sometimes your friends will change, for the better or worse, and you will have to decide if you want to stay as you are or change with them. This could prove to be a very difficult decision for you, one that could make or break your friendship. I've experienced this myself, and my best advice is to try not to get so caught up in your friends that you forget who you are. Carefully choose those you call friends; they should help you be your true self.

Your friends should communicate with you as well as listen to you. Your friends should be uplifting, not demeaning or manipulative. They should reciprocate service, not take advantage of you. They should make you feel confident, not guilty or self-conscious. When your friends mess up, they should be able to admit fault; and when you mess up, they should be able to forgive you and forget about it. Your friends should respect you as you are. And if you expect these things from your friends, you must be this type of friend yourself.

What happens when you move away or end a friendship? It's not easy to start all over with making friends, especially after you've been hurt. Have faith that you will make friends again. Reach out to others to find new friendships instead of waiting for them to come to you. Be the friend you want others to be to you. At some point you will lean on your friends as if they were your family. You will develop a unique relationship with your friends that may seem even heaven sent. I hope you will recognize, enjoy, and appreciate these rare friendships.

Amazing Race ... of my cousin

2010-06-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

I have amazing family and relatives. My cousin, Katie, is one of them. Check out this article about her:

Wasatch Back continues to improve

Terry hopes to be an inspiration as race's only hand cyclist

By Amy Donaldson Deseret News

Published: Sunday, June 20, 2010 1:12 a.m. MDT

When a car accident robbed Katie Terry of her ability to walk, she immediately started looking for ways to continue to maintain the active lifestyle she'd always enjoyed.

It took a few years, but eventually she discovered both her ability and her affection for hand cycling.

"Two years ago, I was the first hand-cycling participant in the St. George marathon," said the 33-year-old mother of two, who is now a member of the Utah Hand Cycle team. "It kind of lit a fire."

But even she admits participating in a race that tests her individual endurance and ability is totally different than participating in an event like the Ragnar Relay's Wasatch Back.

Which is where good friends come in. The relay is unique in that it brings the team concept to the sport of running, which is considered a solitary endeavor by most die-hards. And while runners have to navigate three different legs of the 188-mile course on their own, they don't do it without the support, encouragement and guidance of their 11 teammates.

Terry was a member of Jogger Nauts and was assigned to be runner No. 2, in part by race officials who had to make sure she didn't draw one of the legs that traversed mountain passes or trails.

She said her friends didn't hesitate to make accommodations for her hand cycle in the 24-hour race that packs six runners into two vans where they eat, sleep, sweat and laugh together while testing their physical limits.

"They're runners," she said. "My friends saw this as, 'You can totally do this.' "

She said she'd heard good things about the race and wanted to share in the unique experience. She also hopes others see her participation and find their own way to live an active lifestyle — without excuses.

She said after her accident, she witnessed the adjustment, including the doubt, that patients like herself had about their futures.

"No matter what the injury is, almost all of them feel like their life, like their active life is over," she said. "I've learned from other people and their experiences. It's good to pave the way for others, to show them what's possible. Life is not over. It's different. There are going to be new challenges."

The support of good friends and a great family, including her 9-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter (with whom she was pregnant when she was paralyzed from the waist down), make her want to push herself even more.

"It's just to be an example to my kids," she said. "I just want to be an example of hard work and dedication for my kids."

Terry was the only hand cyclist who participated this year, but she hopes to offer some suggestions to organizers about how to include others — including more handicapped accessible Port-a-Potties.

"I've done a number of marathons, and I've never been as sore and as exhausted as this," she said. "I think it was the stopping and starting, cramped in the car and not getting any sleep. But it was great. I had a lot of fun doing it. It was fun to see the reactions of people and fun to be the only hand cycle."

Not only that, she said, it lets others know it's an option.

"It is empowering to know with any trial, with any disability that you can do it," she said. "That if you don't, it's because you choose not to do it. Personally, it's empowering."

This year, the number of participants jumped from about 650 to 1,050, and despite a few glitches, the country's largest relay was a success with organizers and runners.

"There are always improvement, but we're really happy with things," said co-founder Dan Hill. "It's like this year was the dream come true. Every other year was building to something. So much more we can do. It doesn't mean we're done. But this is the dream."

Nordic Track is the presenting sponsor of the race, and its corporate team turned in the fastest time on the 188-mile course that starts in Logan and ends in Park City. The Nordic Track Elite men's team finished the race in 18 hours and 26 minutes.

The country's largest relay was not without its glitches.

Many race participants complained about the parking congestion and difficulty in getting to the top of the Canyons Resort where the finish area was set up amid a carnival-like atmosphere that included free concerts and plenty of vendors.

"I think the finish was an improvement over last year, but we definitely have some things to work out," Hill said. For one, racers had to compete with the public for parking spots, and some missed the finish of their final runner.

Nothing to Fear

2010-06-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

For the past two weeks my dining table has been covered with supplies for 72 hour kits. I had been putting them together a little bit at a time for the past year, but finally pulled them out again to reassess their contents and fill them with more essentials. My husband and I are also discussing various game plans, should certain things happen. It's an odd obsession, but I'm to a point that, if something were to happen, I wouldn't be too worried! And THAT feels GREAT! I've heard it said before, "It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark."

Throughout the many websites devoted to emergency preparedness, I found a common theme between all of them:
1. Get a Kit
2. Make a Plan
3. Be Informed

Getting an emergency kit together can be tedious, but will be worth it when you only have a minute to grab stuff and go. Having something is always better than having nothing. Try to work on it a little each month, and soon you'll have a well-stocked kit that's ready for anything.

Making a plan BEFORE a disaster strikes will likely speed up your response time. If you already have a plan in place, you won't need to stop and think of one. Discussing the plan as a family will get everyone on the same page. Focus on likely scenarios and decide on meeting places, should something occur.

Being informed about the disasters that could happen in your area -- flood, earthquake, fire, mudslide, winter storm, etc. -- will also help with your planning. Find out what radio and TV stations broadcast emergency alerts. Sign up for emails or texts that alert you in an emergency.

Ready.gov has all sorts of tools to help you accomplish these three goals -- even specialized advice for kids, businesses, older people, those with disabilities, or pet owners. Department of Homeland Security also has lots of great information, including E-mail updates about disasters, family preparedness, and news from other government agencies.

If you've got a kit, a plan, and the info you need, you'll be several steps ahead of most people out there! "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear."

The Friend Zone

2010-06-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

Dearest Daughters,

There's a song out by a popular country singer (Taylor Swift) that frustrates me each time I hear it. And don't get me wrong, I like the rest of her music, but this song is ridiculous. It's called "You Belong With Me" and it's about a girl who really likes this boy, and the boy has a girlfriend. The girl dreams "about the day when [he'll] wake up and find that what [he's] looking for has been here the whole time" and why can't he see that they belong together?

I understand that you're going to develop crushes. But if you like a guy and want to date him, and he leaves you in the "friend zone," move on. And I mean quickly! You can stay friends with him if you want, but go crush on someone else. If he hasn't realized how amazing and beautiful you are, he is going to remain clueless for a while and you don't need to waste your time. He really is clueless. He isn't different than other guys no matter how many times you say it to yourself. And you can't change him, no matter how hard you try.

There's a common pattern that occurs which keeps girls holding out for guys like this. He'll do or say something really nice, even flirt with you. But then he'll do several things that hurt your feelings or make you cry, like ignore you or flirt with other girls. And then he'll do one nice thing again, and you will let that one thing redeem him of all the wrong he's done. And then he'll do more mean things and one nice thing again. And the pattern will keep repeating itself, and you will have wasted months waiting for this guy to "wake up and find that what he's looking for has been here the whole time."

I know this because I went through it, and most women have. And I'll bet if you ask them about it they'll tell you the same things I did. It wasn't all that long ago and it's not just something that occured "back in my day." It will likely happen to you and I want you to be smart enough to save your breath, your tears, and your emotions for someone else who deserves them. You will have much more fun hanging out with and dating those who want to be with you. I promise.

True Beauty, Reprise

2010-05-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

A friend shared this with me. I think I ought to watch it every morning as a good reminder ...

True Beauty

2010-05-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Dearest Daughters,
I feel rather strongly about women and their self-image, so one day I "Googled" the words “help women self image." I knew something was terribly wrong with this world when one of the search results included a hot women photo contest and another that discussed breast augmentation. Women and girls go through this same pummeling of negative messages everyday. No matter how beautiful me may truly be, it seems we're never good enough for the world. Why do we have to look like someone else? Why can’t we just be happy the way we are? I don’t think women should have to go to supermodel extremes to be considered beautiful. Check this out:

Did you see that reality show More to Love? It's essentially The Bachelor, where one guy dates a bunch of girls and eliminates them 'til he's left with the one he "loves." The commercial for More to Love said something to the effect of, "The average female in the US is a size 12 to 14. And the average female reality TV show contestant is a size two." Yeah, that's reality ...! Essentially, the show used plus-size contestants as its twist, and critics called it a "big-boned Bachelor." Seriously? Do they have to rub it in? So what if the women have "more to love" -- who says beauty has a size limit? In fact, the contestants on the show loved themselves despite what other people thought. I enjoy watching the show What Not To Wear because it emphasizes dressing for your body type and feeling fabulous about yourself, no matter what size you are. When will the rest of the world catch on?

I hope you know, or soon learn, that it doesn't matter what the world thinks about you. What only matters is what you think about yourself. If you can ignore the world, the magazines and TV shows, the commercials and the posters in the mall; if you can block that out of your mind and just see yourself as you are -- not how the world thinks you should be -- then you will see your true beauty. Go read You Are Special by Max Lucado. You'll see what I mean.

AV + DD

2010-05-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't like a 2 for 1 these days? Then I hope you'll embrace the merger of Anything Virtuous and Dearest Daughters. In hopes of being able to better manage this blog with my life, combining the two seems to be a good move. I apologize for my absence, but now that I've got a good handle on motherhood, I don't expect to go MIA anytime soon. I'll repost past DD posts (so I don't lose them) over time.

Dearest Daughters,
I created this blog so I could write out the thoughts I want to share with you. You may like some of it, and ignore some of it, but if you can remember just one thing then I'll be content. I sure hope that one thing is this: You are always loved. If you can remember that, then the rest will be easier to hear. Everything else I have to say builds upon and boils down to that one true statement -- You are always loved.

Love Story + Viva la Vida

2009-04-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

There was a time that I thought I might be able to play the piano as well as Jon Schmidt. I've decided to leave the piano playing to him, after seeing this. I love this arrangement and will soon be buying it off iTunes.

The Imperative Six-Letter Word

2009-04-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

I've had several conversations with friends and strangers about a certain topic, and all of the conversations came to the same conclusion that this six-letter word is imperative now more than ever: Family.

Innumerable forces of Satan are trying to break up the word and idea of Family, and have been since the first parents, Adam and Eve, were on the Earth. But the tactics being used today are more cunning, more deceptive, and more destructive than ever before. Satan has become a genius at detecting weak points in man and tempting him to give in and succumb to sin and evil. His ploys are not always blatant and obvious, rather, he starts off with something small and seemingly harmless. Then he lays it on a little thicker and a little more severe. A scripture from the Book Of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ, says it perfectly -- 2 Nephi 28:21, "And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."

Satan hates the idea of Family and would do anything to tear it apart. He has found all sorts of ways to get inside the Home. He uses magazines, TV programs, movies, books, websites, billboards, jokes, radio and people (friends or strangers). He distorts the realities of what people look like, dress like and act like. He blurs the distinction between right and wrong, good and evil, and Godly and ungodly. He skews the definitions of love, relationships, marriage and family. He degrades both genders, but more especially women. He tries to plant harmful seeds in our minds, hoping the thoughts will flourish. He rips Families apart, creating a chasm with rough, frayed edges that are difficult to patch back together. And he enjoys every moment.

There is no time more imperative than now for the Family and Home to be built and fortified with layers of steel. We cannot afford to ignore any cracks or loose seams in our structure. If there are any, we need to repair them and repent so we can prepare and prevent any other weak spots from occurring. Family and Home is where we all start, and most of us want to end there, too. We can't outrun or outsmart Satan; we need to stay and fight for Family.

About Virtue

2009-03-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

When deciding on a theme and name for this blog, I kept going back to a scripture in Proverbs 31:10, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."

I love the metaphor that a virtuous woman is a priceless treasure; and I also interpret that scripture as she is also an uncommon find. I believe we all could do well with a little more virtue in our lives, and that if we worked on it every day we would see a noticeable difference in our world.

President Ezra Taft Benson of the LDS Church said, “Give me a young woman who is virtuous and who has maintained her personal purity, who will not settle for less ... and I will give you a young woman who will perform miracles for the Lord now and throughout eternity.”

Best Reads: "The Hunger Games"

2009-03-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

"The Hunger Games," by Suzanne Collins
I like to think of it this way: as intense as Stephenie Meyer's "The Host" yet not dripping with love like "Twilight." Besides the continuous action throughout the book, "The Hunger Games" also has a love interest twist. I honestly couldn't put it down and finished it in two days flat. I loved it, loved it, loved it and can't wait for the sequel to come out in September.

Here's the gist of the plot: The future United States is now called Panem and is divided into 13 districts governed by the Capitol. The districts once tried to fight the Capitol and lost. The Capitol then created the Hunger Games to remind the districts of the Capitol's power and control over them. The Hunger Games is an annual televised event where one boy and girl from each district are brought together and fight to the death. The winner's district gets a plentiful amount of food from the Capitol for the next year. Katniss, the protagonist, detests the Hunger Games until her little sister is chosen to participate. Katniss volunteers to take her place, and the Hunger Games begin.

AV is not the only one recommending "The Hunger Games." Check out what Stephenie Meyer had to say:

"I was so obsessed with this book I had to take it with me out to dinner and hide it under the edge of the table so I wouldn't have to stop reading. The story kept me up for several nights in a row, because even after I was finished, I just lay in bed wide awake thinking about it. ...The Hunger Games is amazing."

Earth Day 2009

2009-03-27T16:20:00.001-07:00

Saturday, March 28, 2009.
8:30-9:30 pm.
Turn off your lights.
Be there or be square.

Why Mormons Build Temples

2009-03-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

Some may not understand why the LDS Church, or Mormons, build Temples. This video answers that question and also offers perspective from leaders of other faiths.

There is no other place that I receive more peace, hope, inspiration or relief from the world than the Temple. If you have other questions about the LDS Church, or know someone who does, check out Mormon Messages and Mormon.org.

No Love for Big Love

2009-03-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

You may have read or heard about the upcoming episode of "Big Love" and its depiction of LDS Temple Ceremonies. If not, you can read about it here. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS, Mormons) released a statement in response to this, and other media attention.

I've learned the best way to be heard is to share your voice. I sent the following message to HBO, and I hope you will let them know how you feel, too. Take A Stand.

"I am appalled at your disrespect for religion and sacred practices -- while hiding behind the excuse of free speech. It's wrong to exploit on TV sacred traditions of any religion. You are blurring the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) and your show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Way to go back on your word. I, along with millions of others, will never watch HBO again."

To send your own message to HBO, click here.

Going Places

2009-01-26T21:21:00.001-08:00

"If you want to go fast, go alone; If you want to go far, go together." -- African Proverb

It makes a difference having others around to help, support, and encourage us. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Many hands make light work. Teamwork. Unity. It's all the same, and it'll get you to where you're going.

I'd like to thank the reader who showed this quote to me. I hope to include more thoughtful Proverbs in the future.

In case you forgot, you're beautiful

2009-01-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for a celebrity endorsement for beauty secrets, here's one for ya --

"For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For Beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others." — Audrey Hepburn

Coming from one of the most beautiful women to have ever lived ... I think I'm gonna take her advice over any other celebrity.

And in case you forgot, you're beautiful. Seriously.

Inauguration Thoughts

2009-01-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

"The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

President Barack Obama shared these words in his inaugural address today. I am thankful for the message he gave to this nation and the entire world. The theme I took from his speech was that of Hope.

The entire nation has felt the blows from the struggling economy. Our spirits have been down. Our faith in our political leaders has waned. Our pride for our country, so strong just a few years ago, has deflated.

So I thought it appropriate that President Obama reminded the country of the reasons why it was founded: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We need to pick ourselves up and, with hope, keep moving forward toward our goals for achieving happiness. We need to have hope that our leaders will make the right decisions that will strengthen our nation. And we need to have faith that things will get better; stop fearing the things that might happen. Imagine what we could accomplish if we stopped living in fear and started moving forward with faith.

I may not have voted for him. But I am grateful for his vision of changing our country for the better.

Contentment

2009-01-11T18:16:00.000-08:00

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” -- Epicurus (Greek Philosopher)

I often find myself wanting more things. I avoid shopping so as not to tempt myself with items I might justify as "needs." Surfing the web might even be more dangerous. I'll be clicking around, finding great online shops, and before I know it, I'm justifying buying something because of the "sale" or "special online pricing." The line dividing "wants" and "needs" is sometimes blurry to me.

A few nights ago while visiting a friend, I admired her modern decor and style. I thought to myself, "I want to do this to my home, and put that in my family room, and get a few of those for our kitchen." I started thinking that our home was blah compared to hers. Later on, my friend came over to our place. While I gave her a tour, she kept gushing about the things she liked, and how she wanted to incorporate this and that in her home.

After thinking about the irony of it all, I realized that I ought to appreciate what I have and be satisfied. I have a roof over my head -- that ought to be enough for me to be happy. I have a decorated home that reflects our personality and values -- family pictures, furniture, beautiful paintings (most of which were on sale!). I have clothes on my back. I have multiple pairs of socks and enough shoes, sweaters, and earrings ... I wanted the things I have when I got them, so why should I look for more? I'm not saying that I shouldn't go shopping. I need to stop pining over the grass on the other side and appreciate the wonderful "garden" we've created, where our family will grow.

Kelly Sweet currently playing

2009-01-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

Little did I know that a CD my coworker lent to me (which I never returned) would become one of my favorites to listen to. Not only is Kelly Sweet's sound original, it's astoundingly beautiful. When listening to this 20-year-old, I want to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and relax to the calming sound of her voice. Kelly is notably talented and worth checking out.

Onslaught

2009-01-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

I tear up every time I watch this. Girls and women are hit with a barrage of messages and images like these every day. Sadly, after hearing or seeing something over and over again, some start to believe it. Some girls believe they are expected be (and stay) a size 0, that they need to show more skin than the next girl just to get noticed, that they need to dance a certain way for boys to like them. Even worse, the guys see and hear the same ads the girls do, and they start to believe and expect the girls to follow suit.

It's a lie. Women in magazines don't really look like that. Girls aren't one-size-fits-all. We are individually unique and beautiful. And some people are catching on.

Skinny-model ban riles fashion world
Reuters -- Sept 13, 2006
MADRID, Spain - The world’s first ban on overly thin models at a top-level fashion show in Madrid has caused outrage among modeling agencies and raised the prospect of restrictions at other venues. Madrid’s fashion week has turned away underweight models after protests that girls and young women were trying to copy their rail-thin looks and developing eating disorders. Organizers say they want to project an image of beauty and health, rather than a waif-like, or heroin chic look. But Cathy Gould, of New York’s Elite modeling agency, said the fashion industry was being used as a scapegoat for illnesses like anorexia and bulimia. “I think it's outrageous. I understand they want to set this tone of healthy beautiful women, but what about discrimination against the model and what about the freedom of the designer,” said Gould, Elite’s North America director, adding that the move could harm careers of naturally “gazelle-like” models. Madrid’s regional government, which sponsors the show and imposed restrictions, said it did not blame designers and models for anorexia. It said the fashion industry had a responsibility to portray healthy body images. “Fashion is a mirror and many teenagers imitate what they see on the catwalk,” said regional official Concha Guerra. The mayor of Milan, Italy, Letizia Moratti, told an Italian newspaper this week she would seek a similar ban for her city’s show unless it could find a solution to “sick” looking models. The Madrid show is using the body-mass index or BMI — based on weight and height — to measure models. It has turned away 30 percent of women who took part in the previous event. Medics will be on hand at the Sept. 18-22 show to check models.

The news station I worked at in Salt Lake City (2News) aired a story that sheds light on the lies that we are fed by mainstream media. If you want to view the story on their website, click here. Or you can view it below.

Best Reads: "Left to Tell"

2009-01-09T08:55:00.000-08:00

I read this book in two days. I couldn't wait to hear what happened next to this woman, Immaculee. In this heartwrenching tale she shares what she endured during the Rwandan Holocaust in 1994. Her powerful message of trusting God and forgiveness truly touched my heart. This easily makes AV's Best Reads list.

Shun the Couch Potato Within

2009-01-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

We recently got satellite TV. I am embarrassed to think of how many hours I've spent watching "What Not to Wear" and "House Hunters" just sitting on my tuffet. So I'm going to try something new -- exercise while watching TV. I can still see the screen while doing crunches or stretching or lifting hand weights. And when commercials come on, I can do push ups or yoga moves, or even jog out to get the mail. At least it's something other than sitting!

The Other Three R's

2009-01-09T07:25:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not talking about reading, writing, and arithmetic. Reduce, reuse, recycle! Doctrine and Covenants 104:13 says, "For it is expedient that I, the Lord, should make every man accountable, as a steward over earthly blessings, which I have made and prepared for my creatures." We have a responsibility to take care of the earth we live on.

Want to see what the size of your carbon footprint is? Check out this calculator! The results are scary. What's the solution? Reduce your consumption of water, energy, and waste. One benefit will be that your utility bills will go down. And you can save even more money on gas by walking, biking, carpooling, or taking the bus when you go out.

The second step is Reuse. Instead of throwing away plastic bags from the grocery store, bring them with you the next time you go shopping. Don't throw out plastic water bottles; stick them in the dishwasher and use them again. Even when you buy something secondhand or from eBay, this is reusing!

When an item is out of uses, it's time to Recycle. Earth911.com says, "The U.S. EPA estimates that 75 percent of what Americans throw in the trash could actually be recycled," but, "only 25 percent is currently recycled." If you're not sure how to start curbside recycling in your area, search for one here.

David Archuleta currently playing

2009-01-08T16:48:00.001-08:00

What I really love about David Archuleta's music (besides his soothing, incredible voice) is the fact that I don't have to worry about what he might say. There are times I'll find myself singing along to the radio, and suddenly I'll realize the words I've been singing are NOT words I'd feel comfortable saying in front of my father! I truly appreciate singers and songwriters with values, who put out music that doesn't swear or glorify drinking, infidelity, drugs or fornication. It's hard to find an album that's truly "clean." So keep on singin', David.