I'd take the seasick crocodile

I've seen some bloggers show only the positive things going on around them and portray a perfect facade of their world. This is not that kind of post. I offer a glimpse into my daily life, my reality, uncensored. However, there is a purpose and lesson ...

Cyber Monday. The morning started off great. My teething 11-month old (today!) chilled with Baby Einstein so I could score some great deals. Ten percent off plus free shipping at Old Navy, free shipping at Oriental Trading, and 40 percent off plus free shipping at Ann Taylor Loft! It was the easiest shopping trip ever. And my son entertained himself almost the entire time!

But my joy from online shopping didn't last. Poor kiddo had a hard night and rough first nap, sleeping in spurts when his teeth weren't bugging him and crying out when they were. After we ate lunch I loaded us in the car to run a few errands. My son's mood continually soured as I dashed through the aisles at Target. The checkout lines weren't long so I picked one and hoped we'd make it to the car before the munchkin had a meltdown. Hah.

I completely forgot that stores hire more employees during the holidays. And most of these newbies don't have much training, aren't familiar with the checkout equipment or merchandise, and are astonishingly slow. I got this sort of newbie. I can't explain in words how painful it was waiting for this Target Team Member. I even looked around to see if any other employees or managers had noticed. I forced myself to take deep breaths to maintain my patience while he moved at a glacial pace and my toddler proceeded to melt down. Finally I had finished paying (somehow he gave me $5 back when I paid with a credit card?) and I rushed out to the car. Then I realized that, because this checker had taken so ridiculously long, I forgot to get a gift card for the Angel Tree -- the reason I came to Target in the first place.

So I turned back around, did more breathing exercises as I impatiently tailgate-walked behind some slow shoppers entering the store, veered the stroller to a different checkout line, and got my gift card. Though this checker was also new, he was not nearly as slow (thank Heaven). My son continued to throw a fit as I loaded him in the car, then I busted a nail when collapsing the stroller, and I finally exploded once I had my seatbelt on. My stress and frustration from this shopping trip with my cranky teething toddler, coupled with the stress from having company (some of them ill) stay for a week while hosting my first Thanksgiving, finally consumed me. (PS -- I love you, company, but please try to understand your germaphobic, super-planner relative. Plus, holidays are just stressful in themselves.)

My son thankfully tuned out my explosion and fell asleep after some of his own final shouts of rebellion. I called my husband to vent and he made me feel a bit better. But I continued to simmer while reflecting on the migraine of a shopping trip I just had, the hassle that comes with holidays, the doofus people out there working the registers or slow-shopping, all the while wishing this could've been an online shopping experience. Then, as if I had requested it, the radio station played a song just for me: "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch ..." I couldn't help but smile at all the colorful insults on the Grinch's character and soul. 

You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel ... Your heart's an empty hole ... You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mister Grinch, Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the ... seasick crocodile!

And that's when I realized that these lines described my current attitude. I was being a total Grinch, to put it lightly. I focused on what was going wrong and bottled up my frustration and impatience until I couldn't hold it any longer. After the song I finally relaxed and tried to identify things going 'right', like how my son wasn't crying anymore cuz he was passed out in his carseat. How I discovered a great second-hand store for kids while shopping. How my husband offered to take care of an errand I didn't have time to finish. Little things, yes, but they still count.

As corny as it sounds, I totally did not have the Christmas spirit. And not the Santa and presents-spirit, but the spirit that remembers my Savior, His humble arrival on Earth, and the joy He brought to all who sought Him throughout His life and even afterward, especially throughout my own life. I need to focus on the things that matter most, like my relationship with God and with my fabulous family. I am going to try to be less of a Grinch. I will try to relax and slow down. I will make an effort to enjoy the things going 'right' and the blessings I have (in abundance). After all, I want to get picked over a seasick crocodile.